· The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he'll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave.
· Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
· An English professor wrote the words, "woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."